Simpleton.

I am simple.
I like to think simple, and not lazy. I like to think that this invitation (to Molly's 1st Birthday Tea) is 'Understated' and not 'Under-achieved'. Hmmmm.
It's beautiful though isn't it. One piece of cardstock. Turn it through the Big Shot, back through the Cuttlebug (I am told one machine could do both, but I just can't figure out how & I've since tossed the manual). Cricut up some little green M's. Spot of glue. Done.
I used mostly odd balls pieces of cardstock (and one borrowed, Thanks Tracey!), none of my whites match.... & about one hours time.
And now, because these are done, I have more time to read, clean my kitchen and ... prepare for the Tea-less Tea Party ;)

Layout #212

Hey Sunshine! by Haley Ross
Aaaaaaaaahhh! I clench my jaw when I look at pictures of my kids that I love. You know that feeling right? I imagine all moms must do it. But I love the middle picture of M's chubby cheeks. I love this page. The sunshine button is not highly original, but I haven't done it before so I am pleased. What an easy embellishment, and great was to jazz up an cardstock die-cut... Just choose a color, cut a shape (another great way to use my dusty Cricut!) and cover it with buttons.
Materials: Patterned Papers: October Afternoon, Cardstock: Bazzill Basics; Rub-On Title: ki Memories; Flip Flaps: Close To My Heart; Tranparacey Overlay: Making Memories: Buttons: Basic Grey & Misc.; Acrylic Flowers: ki Memories; Journaling Spots: October Afternoon; Pen: EK Success Zig Writer.

Layout #211

Molly by Haley Ross
I am blogging. And posting layouts! And for the first time today, I browsed the web, looking at blogs of other unknown scrapbookers (not my friends) to see what they have been blogging about. Because it seems like I have nothing to write... And because I haven't been scrapbooking, I don't know what to blog. I thought I might get some ideas from other women... but alas, it seems like they have all made time to scrapbook. If you find yourself on this blog, and have one of your own that might inspire me, or heck, just give me something to read or a piece of eye candy, post a link. Please. I can only promise I wont leave mean comments, in fact, we could arrange for me to leave wildly complimentary ones that would make you look & feel successful. You decide.
So here, without further adieu, actually not deserving any adieu at all really, are my layouts....

My friend Kim took these pictures of Molly. And my favorite one is of her tiny little feet. I had asked Kacey for a good title for this page & she suggested 'Feet Balls'. (Just kidding, she didn't, it's an inside joke....). The paper was stolen from Kim (worth stealing wasn't it?), the gauze taken from a bag of Kim's hand-me-downs (which Kacey & I so selfishly hog. Leaving Tara to her own devices..). But the die-cuts were mine, and they were old, and that makes me happy.
Materials: Paper: My Minds Eye & Tim Holts; Die-Cuts: Daisy D's; Gauze: Scrappin' Extras; Brads: My Minds Eye and K&Co.; Rub Ons: Making Memories.

Layout #210

Come Together by Haley Ross

Bet you didn't think I'd ever post another layout...let alone 2 in one day. Well, I did. Reluctantly. I hate my camera. One day it just stopped taking good pictures. And it breaks my heart. So here is the best I could do... Its so blurry.

Materials: Cardstock: Bazzill Basics & BoBunny; Patterned Paper: ATD; Alphabet Stickers: Doodlebug Designs; Chipboard: Making Memories.

Layout #209

Riding Thomas by Haley Ross

I worked on this page forever. Not by choice. I was so excited when I decided to make my own train tracks... but once I started I realized that would mean setting about 40 brads. Blech. But sometimes an idea is worth the effort. I am happy with my little tracks! I am toying with the idea of adding another picture to the page (over the map we got that day) but I cant decide. It is a pretty cool map... I also love the ticket stickers, they've been in my stash forever & are finally being put to good use...

Materials: Cardstock: Bazzill Basics; Patterned Paper: EK Success, Stampin' Up; Brads: Making Memories; Alphabet Stickers: Making Memories & Lil' Davis.

More Important Than Ever...

I have a pet peeve... Something that grates my nerves... If you mumble these words my spine crawls... and yet, every once in a while I let them slip. "I'm just so busy." (Or any variation of...). Hearing those words makes me batty. We are all busy. We are all pressed for time. But if you could only use the world busy when you really were unusually busy, then we might find ourselves saying it only 6 times a year. But because we have such full lives, we've adopted the word busy as our excuse-all. And it makes me mad. If you are constantly saying you are busy, then you probably have time management issues... No one should be busy all the time. But we all seem to think we are.

I was going to blog about not blogging. I was going to spout off some excuses about being busy. But I am not busy. Blogging is just not making the cute when it comes to things I would like to get done.

Scrapbooking hasn't made the cut much these days either. Which is sad. I run into people who I've met through scrapbooking & I am always surprised when I hear someone has given it up. Especially when I saw how excited they were about it. I can't imagine NOT scrapbooking. So I am making time for it. Which in turn means I will be making time for myself. And I am looking forward to that. I am not too busy. Yes, I have little kids (many women have more than I). Yes, I have a house to clean, work to do, books to read, a husband to spend time with & friends to see. I have a cat to feed, groceries to buy, gas to get got & dinner to be made. But I am not too busy to scrapbook. Or update my blog. Because I've missed it. And that means it is worth making time for.

10's

10 Things to look forward to in 2011.

1. Brian using the new steamer to de-wrinkle his dress shirts every morning. Thank goodness. There couldn't be better timing as he starts his new job on Tuesday.
2. A road trip to the US with my friend Kacey. We're going to see Wicked. I am so excited!
3. I am going to learn to quilt. Yes. I am.
4. Turkey in September! And I don't mean the meat! We have high hopes of hauling the kids around the world to see a great friend get married.
5. Watching Molly motor around the house. She is growing so fast.
6. Taking Miles to his first Flames game (tomorrow!). He is going to love it.
7. Water-skiing at the lake this summer.
8. My friend Tasha is pregnant with baby #2. I can't wait to never hear from her again... just kidding (she will be busy but thank goodness we have Facebook). I am so excited to find out.. Boy or Girl?
9. Finally getting to open some of the wine we have been coveting. It's been about 7 years since we really started to 'collect'. Now it's time to 'sample' our wares. Woohoo!
10. Eating dinner with my family. With me taking on a part-time job & Brian working days, I am looking forward to putting my cooking knowledge (yep, I have some) to good use. I hated making dinner only to eat alone (or with an unappreciative toddler). I can't wait for family dinners to hit my table. I am so looking forward to reconnecting with my husband over good grub.

Still alive...

I'm still alive.
But blogging has definitely taken a back burner to everything else in my life.
Speaking of burners, did you know the All-Clad d5 technology makes your stainless steel cookware 20% more efficient? Well I did. And I know lots more about cooking & cookware. In fact, I seem to have submersed myself in a new world. And I am enjoying the new knowledge I gain at work, but I am knackered.

That being said, I am still making time for what is important (usually) and although I miss out on going to shows with friends (I missed a promising Just For Laughs this past weekend), staying up late on Facebook (I am down to just 2 status changes a week), I am starting to finally find time again.
I was so tired for the first 4 weeks of working full time again. But now I am starting to get 'my groove' and I am looking forward to LIFE again. Blogging, cleaning & dare I say...scrapbooking?
I always told people that I 'made time for what I loved' & that was true. It's just that I didn't realise what it was that I loved enough to make time for....
Molly is growing like a weed. She has 5 teeth that are through & more on the way. I make time for her.

Miles changes everytime I look at him. He starts a lot of his sentences with "How about...". It cracks me up. I make time for him.
Brian was growing a Mustache for MoVember but had to shave it for a meeting. What a geek. But I make time for him.
I make time for taking a bath, getting a foot massage & watching SNL. And reading. Who would have known that I loved reading so much? But I do. It keeps me thinking. Here's what I am thinking about now:

I just finished reading The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance. I loved it. It was Hilarious. The part about the White Babies killed me. I was laughing so hard I almost peed. And oddly enough I related to so much of what Elna Baker went through on her quest for love (even though I've found mine) & her challenges in faith. I've often wondered why I wasn't born into a more religious family. I believe in God & sometimes think that having Him be a larger part of my life would be a relief. An easy place to turn to when I felt lost or needed guidance. But I also recognize my skepticism. And find it so hard to believe so unconditionally in something that I cannot see. I sometimes feel like a nut-job when I pray or ask God for guidance. I feel like I am too liberal, too 'scientific' or too rationale to believe in God. I find it hard to have the political, science & liberal views I have while embracing all religion has to offer. But I know He is there. And so I also feel guilty not paying him the respect I think He deserves. Is that weird? It is right?

" I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like."

Lyrics. From Enimen of all people. But it kind of sums up my take on religion. I can't put my faith into words. I can't say 'I am Mormon', 'I am Muslim' or 'I am Jewish'. Maybe someday I will find a church or group to call Home... but I know I feel it. I know I need it as a part of my life. I know I pray when I am sad, happy, hopeful and scared. I know it feels like I am parying to someone & I believe it to be God. And that I want to do right by Him. But I can't tell you why. Or why it is so important to me. It is what it is.

It's been a while...

And a lot has happened.

I am feeling emotional today so blogging is likely the last thing I should be doing. But I will try to keep it short & sweet...and not too sappy.

I have taken a full-time position at Williams-Sonoma. It was a hard decision. I knew I would someday go back to work, I guess I just didn't know how hard it would be to leave those beautiful faces (my kids) behind each day. Last week was my first week & it ripped my heart out. I have never cried so hard in my life, well, not since my friend Pam and my Grandpa died. Before I started, I told Brian that I felt that a part of me was dying. It sounds dramatic (ok, it is dramatic) but I can't even express how right I was.

When I closed my store I felt like a different person. There were days when I felt like I didn't know my purpose. But I hung in there and I found a routine at home. And I discovered a purpose I loved to live for. My family. But part of being in a family means making sacrifices. And it's my turn to make some so that my husband can start to enjoy his life. Brian is so busy with school & being the sole provider & it was beginning to take it's toll... I am happy with my decision. But that doesn't mean I don't feel guilty. Women in general are prone to a guilt that is overwhelming. It seems to be a constant struggle. I knew I would have this guilt x100. But I have a great extended family (And I include Michelle Gier in this group as she is so much more than a friend) and friends that I thought would be there for me, to lift me up. I was right. And I was wrong.

I think the thing is... I had an expectation for my first week back at work. And with Brian, I got what I expected. He was there for me in every way. He let me cry, he made me laugh and he did those things at the right time (that's key). He kept the house clean & went the extra mile. I got the comfort I was looking for (and needing) from Michelle. Who lets me savor the time I do have & allows me to feel wholly confident in my childrens home life during the day. I don't think she will ever know how much she means to us. And I got what I expect from my mom. She was there for me physically, she helped to watch the kids a couple evenings & I appreciate it so much. But I needed a friend to help me to keep the guilt at bay. And while it's not healthy to depend to heavily on others, I did. And I waited for the phone call to ask not just how my day was, but how I was doing. How was I coping? Was I OK? I needed to be able to tell someone who knew what I was sacrificing. Someone who is lucky enough to have what I was giving up & therefore knew how hard it would be.... And how much I would need her.

And it never came. And I think I wasn't prepared for that... I guess I never even considered the possibility that during the hardest week of my life (so far...) I would feel so alone. Like there was no one who could possibly understand how much it hurts. How it occupies my mind 24/7. How SAD I am. I know it won't hurt forever. I know it will get easier to leave everyday. And I know I have great friends, but ones that just can't relate. My best friend doesn't have kids & is lucky enough to take her fur-babies to work with her everyday.

I guess it sounds like I am asking people to feel sorry for me. In a pathetic way...I am. I was. I was asking someone to make allowances for me to be bitchy & grumpy. Wanting someone to agree with me about how 'unfair' it all is. Wanting people to ask me how I was so I could cry in their ear. That hardly seems fair in hindsight. The more realistic approach would be: Although my feelings were hurt because I felt they weren't there to feel sorry for me or let me cry to them, those were my feelings. And I can't make them feel sorry for me (which is what I pathetically wanted). That I can only expect 'sorry if you feel that way'. And only I can control that, so it's my problem.

I'll take this and learn from it.

Being a Mom has made me learn to rely on myself. When I need something done, doing it myself is the best way to ensure it gets done. I am so use to being 'needed' that I forgot to be there for myself was I was feeling 'needy'. Molly is crying so I have to go warm her a bottle. She is so little & helpless & I hate to think that in 30 years she will still, at times, feel so helpless.... I need to set a good example so that doesn't happen to her. I have a lot to learn. I have a long way to go.

Oops. Not short or sweet. And full of sappiness. My bad.

Layout #208

Our Family by Haley Ross
I haven't journaled this layout, I still get a little too emotional... I don't want what I have to say to sound all sappy, but it will. This layout is simple, I'll probably add to it, any suggestions? I can't believe how much I have scrapbooked in the past 2 weeks. I am soooo proud of me. Haha! No really, I want to meet my goal and I am only 42 layouts from doing that.
Dang! Girl guides just came by & I didn't have any cash on me.
Materials: Patterned Paper: Fancy Pants Designs & My Minds Eye; Stickers: Fancy Pants; Rub On: My Minds EYe; Buttons: Stampin' Up;

Layout #207

One by Haley Ross
I feel like this is the laziest layout ever... It's all from the BoBunny line & I feel guilty for being so "creative-less".
Materials: Patterned Paper & Stickers: BoBunny; Alphabet Chipboard: Thickers by American Crafts; Rub Ons: We R Memory Keepers; Brad: Doodlebug Designs.

Layout #206

You by Haley Ross

When my Auntie Tara gave this little polka-dot dress to Molly I could almost taste the scrapbook page (I knew I already had the perfect paper at home). I also LOVE, love, love the die-cut butterflies from Stampin' Up. They cut AND emboss. Love it.

Materials: Patterned Paper: Girls Paperie; Calendar Die Cut & Alphabet Stickers: Jenni Bowlin; Paper Flower: Junkitz; Brad: Making Memories; Butterfly DieCut: Stampin' Up; Pen: EK Success Zig Writer.