Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Still alive...

I'm still alive.
But blogging has definitely taken a back burner to everything else in my life.
Speaking of burners, did you know the All-Clad d5 technology makes your stainless steel cookware 20% more efficient? Well I did. And I know lots more about cooking & cookware. In fact, I seem to have submersed myself in a new world. And I am enjoying the new knowledge I gain at work, but I am knackered.

That being said, I am still making time for what is important (usually) and although I miss out on going to shows with friends (I missed a promising Just For Laughs this past weekend), staying up late on Facebook (I am down to just 2 status changes a week), I am starting to finally find time again.
I was so tired for the first 4 weeks of working full time again. But now I am starting to get 'my groove' and I am looking forward to LIFE again. Blogging, cleaning & dare I say...scrapbooking?
I always told people that I 'made time for what I loved' & that was true. It's just that I didn't realise what it was that I loved enough to make time for....
Molly is growing like a weed. She has 5 teeth that are through & more on the way. I make time for her.

Miles changes everytime I look at him. He starts a lot of his sentences with "How about...". It cracks me up. I make time for him.
Brian was growing a Mustache for MoVember but had to shave it for a meeting. What a geek. But I make time for him.
I make time for taking a bath, getting a foot massage & watching SNL. And reading. Who would have known that I loved reading so much? But I do. It keeps me thinking. Here's what I am thinking about now:

I just finished reading The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance. I loved it. It was Hilarious. The part about the White Babies killed me. I was laughing so hard I almost peed. And oddly enough I related to so much of what Elna Baker went through on her quest for love (even though I've found mine) & her challenges in faith. I've often wondered why I wasn't born into a more religious family. I believe in God & sometimes think that having Him be a larger part of my life would be a relief. An easy place to turn to when I felt lost or needed guidance. But I also recognize my skepticism. And find it so hard to believe so unconditionally in something that I cannot see. I sometimes feel like a nut-job when I pray or ask God for guidance. I feel like I am too liberal, too 'scientific' or too rationale to believe in God. I find it hard to have the political, science & liberal views I have while embracing all religion has to offer. But I know He is there. And so I also feel guilty not paying him the respect I think He deserves. Is that weird? It is right?

" I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like."

Lyrics. From Enimen of all people. But it kind of sums up my take on religion. I can't put my faith into words. I can't say 'I am Mormon', 'I am Muslim' or 'I am Jewish'. Maybe someday I will find a church or group to call Home... but I know I feel it. I know I need it as a part of my life. I know I pray when I am sad, happy, hopeful and scared. I know it feels like I am parying to someone & I believe it to be God. And that I want to do right by Him. But I can't tell you why. Or why it is so important to me. It is what it is.