Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Still alive...

I'm still alive.
But blogging has definitely taken a back burner to everything else in my life.
Speaking of burners, did you know the All-Clad d5 technology makes your stainless steel cookware 20% more efficient? Well I did. And I know lots more about cooking & cookware. In fact, I seem to have submersed myself in a new world. And I am enjoying the new knowledge I gain at work, but I am knackered.

That being said, I am still making time for what is important (usually) and although I miss out on going to shows with friends (I missed a promising Just For Laughs this past weekend), staying up late on Facebook (I am down to just 2 status changes a week), I am starting to finally find time again.
I was so tired for the first 4 weeks of working full time again. But now I am starting to get 'my groove' and I am looking forward to LIFE again. Blogging, cleaning & dare I say...scrapbooking?
I always told people that I 'made time for what I loved' & that was true. It's just that I didn't realise what it was that I loved enough to make time for....
Molly is growing like a weed. She has 5 teeth that are through & more on the way. I make time for her.

Miles changes everytime I look at him. He starts a lot of his sentences with "How about...". It cracks me up. I make time for him.
Brian was growing a Mustache for MoVember but had to shave it for a meeting. What a geek. But I make time for him.
I make time for taking a bath, getting a foot massage & watching SNL. And reading. Who would have known that I loved reading so much? But I do. It keeps me thinking. Here's what I am thinking about now:

I just finished reading The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance. I loved it. It was Hilarious. The part about the White Babies killed me. I was laughing so hard I almost peed. And oddly enough I related to so much of what Elna Baker went through on her quest for love (even though I've found mine) & her challenges in faith. I've often wondered why I wasn't born into a more religious family. I believe in God & sometimes think that having Him be a larger part of my life would be a relief. An easy place to turn to when I felt lost or needed guidance. But I also recognize my skepticism. And find it so hard to believe so unconditionally in something that I cannot see. I sometimes feel like a nut-job when I pray or ask God for guidance. I feel like I am too liberal, too 'scientific' or too rationale to believe in God. I find it hard to have the political, science & liberal views I have while embracing all religion has to offer. But I know He is there. And so I also feel guilty not paying him the respect I think He deserves. Is that weird? It is right?

" I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like."

Lyrics. From Enimen of all people. But it kind of sums up my take on religion. I can't put my faith into words. I can't say 'I am Mormon', 'I am Muslim' or 'I am Jewish'. Maybe someday I will find a church or group to call Home... but I know I feel it. I know I need it as a part of my life. I know I pray when I am sad, happy, hopeful and scared. I know it feels like I am parying to someone & I believe it to be God. And that I want to do right by Him. But I can't tell you why. Or why it is so important to me. It is what it is.


Lee-Anne said...

I always love your blog posts. It sounds like something is really stirring in you so embrace it and let it take it's course. You definitely are wise and know what really matters.

Tasha said...

I read that book too and loved the white babies part also!

I know what you mean about God, and believe me, we all thought about it a lot when we lost Pam and my uncle last year.

I studied every religion in University, and more than anything, I found them to be more alike than different. And I like finding elements in each that resonate with me.

For me, having gone to Catholic school and Catholic church, and then being married and baptizing my baby in the Lutheran church, I can honestly say there are elements to church that are good and valid for some people. But for me, for the most part, God is Nature. I feel more connected to God being connected with life.

And, surprisingly, in my grade 9 religion class my teacher said that prayer doesn't have to be kneeling down at your bedside, it can be in appreciating anything God created--in enjoying the scent of a flower or being happy for a sunny day or just NOTICING the wonder in the world and valuing it and being grateful for it.

I think that's big in this day and age--it's easy to get sucked into your blackberry and walk through life with your head down and miss out on the things that matter. And so often that's all it takes, is taking the time to look up at your kid, doing something sweet, and love them and love life and love God in that moment. And that can be enough.

Tasha said...
This comment has been removed by the author.