Thursday, January 21, 2010

Rant.


My friend Kim has a rant about wearing yoga pants in public on her blog right now. I love it. Everyone has something that 'irks' them & sometimes it's so superficial or minor that it can be comical. For example, my husband has a SEVERE disstain for Beyonce. It came out of nowhere, but it cracks me up. If we are at the mall & a Beyonce song comes on, he will leave the store we are in. He also dislikes the word 'dejavue' simply because of her song. If Beyonce donated her eyes to a blind child he would still hate her. It's absurd. But I get it. Because I, like everyone else has things (or people) that get under my skin.


10 Mini Rants

1. Saturn. I get it. They went out of business. But I paid $3000 extra for warranties on my car. And now no one can help me out without charging me a bundle, on days like today, when my keys are stuck in my ignition & I can't get my car to turn off (looong story).

2. Ty Pennington. I've mentioned this before I am sure... I want to puke when I see him. Why does he have to scream all the time? He's obnoxious. And his sleeveless plaid shirts piss me off (it worked in the 90's for Foo Fighters, but you are NO David Grohl & it's 2010!), combine that with his repeated DUI's and I just want him to take a long walk off a short plank.

3. Boy pee. This is gross so I won't go into detail, but how hard can it be to get your pee in the potty? Makes me dislike Unisex bathrooms.

4. People who don't watch SNL or The Office. Because that instantly makes 55% of what I say mean nothing to these people. The same goes for Star Wars. Go ahead, call me a geek, but if you don't notice my 'hilarious' Jedi mind trick as I am talking to you, I understand, but I feel frustrated.

5. The 'ingenuine* guy' at Starbucks. He hates his job, and I can tell. Dude: Your fake smile & guyliner aren't fooling anyone.

6. Guyliner.

7. The grocery flyer's in Okotoks. WHY do they wrap the elastics to tightly around them? I have to cut them open. You'd think they had something special inside, but no, just the latest deals on Kellogg's Rice Krispies. For that much work, there should at least be a free temporary tattoo.

8. Mail-in rebates.

9. Sweatpants with writing on the bum. I own 2 pairs. But really, does the word ABERCROMBIE make my bum look any smaller? Unlikely.


10. Barbie. I was in a toy store the other day looking at girls stuff (because there is a 50/50 chance this is a girl...) and I noticed that Barbie has taken to looking rather 'loose' lately. In fact, some of them look like a working girl. I was excited when those Puta-esque Brats dolls were no longer being sold but it seems Barbie swooped right in to fill the void of 'slutty dolls' available for purchase.

Gotta Mini Rant? I want to hear it. I love this stuff!

Post it in the comment section.

* Technically "ingenuine" isn't a word. But it is on Urbandictionary.com, so I can use it, right?

7 comments:

Jennifer DeWolfe said...

For me it's got to be people who drive under the speed limit in the fast lane! Why can't they move over ... there's not another car in sight but they must drive in the fast lane ... why?

Jennifer DeWolfe said...

Oh yeah and I agree with Kim, keep the yoga pants at home ... I don't care if they make your butt look good ... they really don't :)

Scrapamum said...

This is the funniest post ever, I love it! I am still laughing. I hate it when I let someone in and I don't get a wave. Seriously it's not that hard to just acknowledge that I was nice to you. Or when people leave their signal light on. Drives me nuts.

Aaryn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aaryn said...

Oops! Not good at posting. Here was what I tried to write.

It drives me crazy when people think being on maternity leave is a vacation...eating cold food all the time, not getting enough sleep and never having time for yourself are not the qualities I look for in a good holiday!! I love being a mom, but being on maternity leave is definitely NOT a vacation :)

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kaly said...

I liked your post, but it took me awhile to remember something worth ranting about. And it is this: cell phones. Or rather, the misuse of cell phones.

It used to be that cell phones were for emergencies only. Now, you can text, talk, check your email, be on facebook, twitter, or a number of other such on-line sites. And while it doesn't bother me that people use these apps, it bothers me WHEN they use them. or just how attached a person is to these forms of communication.

Please, turn your cell-phone off in a recital, church, movie, etc. When you are at a function, why don't you try talking to those who are also attending the function, instead of keeping tabs with everyone on-line? While you are talking with someone, face-to-face, please don't have a text conversation at-the-same-time! How rude!

My biggest peave is when people use their cell phones at church for the aforementioned reasons. (Unless it is for an emergency) Isn't there a reason you came to church in the first place? Was it to be with Jesus or your friends on-line?