Monday, June 14, 2010

*Sigh*

I laughed when I saw this picture....
But when the laughter stopped, I just felt depressed.
I don't want to turn this into a weight loss blog, there are enough of them out there. But I do want to share with you my thoughts, that's what this blog is for.
I've had 2 babies. I love them. But OH MY GOSH did they ever kill my once average body. I wasn't skinny when I got pregnant with Miles. And I didn't loose all of the weight I gained with Miles before I found myself pregnant with Molly. Last week when I stepped on the scale, for some reason, I was surprised to see that I was heavier than ever. Then, in what can only be described as a complete melt-down, I saw an unflattering picture of myself. It looked as though my bum was eating my shorts in an attempt to get even with my body for making it carry around a 'spare tire'. Tragic. I'm almost relieved that the picture was only taken from behind & so unable to address the disaster that is my stomach. I suddenly (within a matter of moments) became aware of my body. I was uncomfortable, which annoyed me. And I was, no, I am big. Bigger than I would like to be. Bigger than I am OK with. And I start to look at other woman and wonder "Am I bigger or smaller than her?" How is it that I am so out of touch with my body when pregnancy put me so IN-touch with it? *Sigh*
So I set myself a weight-loss goal. It's a weekly goal. And this week I met that goal. And I almost cried. Because it was hard. I had to give up drinks while camping (and a nacho dip that looked FABULOUS), I had to run & I had to think about my body. *Sigh*
How, when I hate this process so much, do I make myself succeed?
How do I find the time? How do I make this a priority when I am the only beneficiary? How does everyone else succeed in this part of their life?
*Sigh*