Sunday, January 1, 2012

The Problem with Resolutions...

The problem with that they must be resolved.
 And its the lack of resolution that leaves me blue when the New Year rolls around. Last year I resolved to read 24 books in 2011. I failed, I read only 14. And that's even less than I read in 2010. That being said, I think the most important thing that became of that resolution was that, despite the busier schedule, I still made time for a hobby I love.
Had my resolution been to Cook More, Keep a Tidy Home, Clean the Basement or Learn to Knit, I would have achieved it. How can I know which goals I will achieve without even setting them?

The reading resolution I set last year was the only one. I look back and wonder why I didn't even consider setting a weight-loss goal? Too hard? Too many failed attempts? Too much pressure? And accountability? Or maybe I was just plain lazy. But why, when I think about my weight so much, did I not resolve to lose weight? I made myself believe that I was alright with being a Fat Girl, when I am not. I am soooo not. I thought it was fine because I am still pretty active... I go for bike rides with my kids, I do work around the yard & take them to the beach (although never in a swimsuit).

This year I put on another 5 lbs. It seems that since I got married, that has been the case. And having been married for 5 years in 2011, that would amount to 25 lbs. 25lbs that bother me of my life, but for some reason never seem to amount to any type of resolution. Could it be as simple as wanting to avoid a resolution clique? Everyone and their dog seems to vow to drop 10 or 20 lbs in January, and by February 14th most are perched on their couch, eating marshmallow hearts while a bi-weekly payment of $22.99 is taken from their account. But what if I made weight-loss my resolution and on February 14th I was 5lbs lighter? What if... It's worth a shot. If I can even un-do the past years accumulation I will be happy. So here it is, the resolution I have been avoiding for the past two years:

In 2012 I will lose weight.
Not just avoid gaining another 5lbs, but also lose some of what I have.

If I am honest, the reading resolution was a scapegoat. It was a way for me to have a goal that I knew (or thought!) I could possibly meet. I like those easily attainable goals, which is why this one scares the bejebus out of me. But there it is, on my blog. Unavoidable now. I guess I might as well try & resolve it. Or at least put-forth the time and effort that I put into reading in 2011. And if I come up short (as I did with the reading) then I am none the worse. I am disappointed that I didn't read 24 books, but not suffering. And in my current body I am suffering, so here goes nothing.

“If you hear a voice within you say 'I can’t run' then by all means run, and that voice will be silenced.”  - Vincent Van Gogh

(Today I replaced the word 'run' with 'climb' and burned a cool 550 calories on the eliptical.)


Nyssa said...

you go girl! You are way to gorgeous to think of yourself that way, but it seems that all women do that to themselves! I didn't even set a resolution this year, haha. Maybe I want to avoid that one too.

Jennifer DeWolfe said...

If you are looking for a buddy or somebody to bitch to about that skinny chick eating the cupcake give me a call :)

kaly said...

Loved your comments! Everyone has issues about their own body, and I (although I might be that skinny chick Jennifer is talking about) am no different! I'd like to get in better shape this year as well.

Good luck to you!

ellen crowfoot said...

Haley, It's been too long since we visited--not anyone's fault--but LIFE :} Just to let you know I gained 25 pounds in one year alone, so I am revisiting this as well. Congratulations on reading 12 more books than I did in 2011 and keeping a REGULAR blog! This year I aim to do more than set one up & actually enter regular posts--lol! You are still an inspiration to friends & family and honesty keeps all real, bonded & encouraged! Love ya!