Wednesday, November 18, 2009


I think I am stuck in a rut.

Yesterday in order to make a break from it, I ordered my friend and personal style consultant (hair dresser) Kacey to dye my hair pink. Not my whole head (she's smarter than that). Last night Brian & I went into the city & I saw a relatively homely looking girl at a bus stop with pink hair. What have I done? I love it. And then I hate it. And then love it again.

In what I thought was an un-related act (but they are all related aren't they?) I decided to change my scent. I've loved Estee Lauder Pleasures since grade 10. But for some reason, I saw this cute bottle on sale at Shoppers Drug Mart & so when it smelled good... I bought it.

Am I suffering a mid-mommy crisis? I mean, I never felt the loss of my former life after Miles was born, but now that baby #2 is on the way, I can't help but think.... My days of low cut shirts, experimental hair (I had "twists" for a while in College) & using the F word loosely are over. Or am I just in a rut? In a rut because the kid at Starbucks gave me a weird look when I pulled up in the drive-thru rockin' out with Miles & blasting Rancid loudly in my car? Was he thinking "That baby is going to loose his hearing?" or just "Let it go old lady." Should I be switching to John Mayer? I hate John Mayer.

It's not like I was ever an edgy person, but I feel like I am losing the right to become one if I so choose.

Today, I am clearly having a crisis. Help.


Anam_Kihaku said...

I got more punk after the second than before. it was like- i can be mommy and rock at the same time.

hang in there. will will all flow right in the end.

Kimberly said...

Rancid???? Seriously? Not cool Haley, not cool.

Tasha said...

My favorite Mommy-related quote was from Gwen Stefani (ironic, considering your perfume choice) who said "I still feel like the same person, only now I have a kid." It's true. Just because you are a Mom doesn't mean you can't still appreciate your youth. I was talking to my hairdresser about the same thing today (changing up hairstyles, colors, etc). As long as you are a good parent, and a good person, you can do whatever the hell you want with your hair, scent, music etc. Go for it! You only live once! You don't want to look back at your pictures and appreciate your mommy-do and sensible outfits and feel like you grew old before your time. My shirts are still sometimes a scoop neck, which Hannah tears down and exposes my milk jugs to the world. But, to quote Fred Armisen imitating Joy Behar "So what? Who cares?" :)

Erin said...

First of all I like John Mayer...and Rancid. I also have 5 tattoos (that you'd never know are there) and drive a station wagon (Vibe). Although I can't justify dying my hair pink (I have red, that would just clash) I did pierce my nose (until everyone else did too).

Now I try and add something unique and/or unexpected to my outfit choices. I don't like looking like one of the crowd. That might sound superficial but it is how I define myself, I never "fit into the box" and unfortunately people tend to judge or categorize someone by looks. Just like they may see me walking down the street with my son and categorize me as a "mom" or "single mom". But, if I happen to be wearing a polka-dot scarf they might look twice and then think twice about categorizing me.

Lee-Anne said...

I am a lot older than you and I think being a Mom doesn't mean you have to give up your identity. I still like rock music and driving sports cars and a good joke. I still feel 18 in a 40ish body. Life is for living and being happy in your own skin. Some day your kids will grow up and there will be you and your husband and you will be happy that you didn't give up your identity.

Scrapamum said...

If it makes you feel any better I just scrapbooked with a 65+ year old tonight that listens to Lady Gaga! Go Rancid!!! : P

lisa slocombe said...

you hate john mayer.

Martha said...

Sometimes you need to rock out just to feel human again. Turn it up and when someone gives you a look, just smile and wave.